i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm always down for nudity.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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