oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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