I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
