Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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