If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
