ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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