I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
