apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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