so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My life is pants optional.
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