so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
