I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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