i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She even gives head with a lisp.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize