So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
