So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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