he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i think i just lost a toe
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
why is half of my head shaved?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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