is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
