There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
