fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
