Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
