you have to choose: penises or morals?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
