I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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