i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
