Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
