Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
