I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got chris browned last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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