im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
