why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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