She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
