My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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