return my video game
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
