He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
