I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
