Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
