I met the friendliest cop last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize