the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
false alarm, still single
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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