I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think I sprained my soul last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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