People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
