Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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