her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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