Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
