you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
