As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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