Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
