Plan B is the new Plan A
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
