the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
