i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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