Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
