i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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