I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
