my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
