Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
