When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
