if i can run in heels then i can drive
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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