If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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