when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
