I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
