So drunk its hurt
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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