can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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