Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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